Not So Bad...

So, I have had a pretty sedentary two weeks. And a semi-sedentary two months.  Getting ready for a trip for my Choice Literacy Workshop, finishing up fall assessments, getting ready for parent conferences have pretty much consumed me. I got to the point where I am just okay with taking the time to catch up and keep up at work knowing that once this fall round of work was finished, I could find time for myself again. It's not ideal, and I wish I'd been more disciplined to fit it in, but I didn't. I have been beating myself up over this.  Knowing I can't let this go on much longer but not quite finding the energy to get started again.

This weekend, I ran into an acquaintance who I see once a year. I guess last year when I saw him, I was all about mentally preparing to become a runner. (This means I was telling people I wanted to run and they were listening to me nicely with no expectations that I really would:-)  It was October 2011 and I don't really remember the conversation. But I do remember that somehow me wanting to start running was part of the conversation. This year when we ran into each other, he said, "So, did you ever start running? Last year when we talked, you said you had wanted to and I wondered if you ever did." I hesitated for a minute, because I haven't run in a few weeks and I am always honest (with others and myself about these things.)  But then I realized, he didn't ask me if I ran this week. He didn't ask me if I'd run this month. He asked if I ever started running. And you know what, I did. I could honestly answer yes. I could say, Yes,  I ran consistently for 6-8 months. I could say, I ran two 5Ks. And I could say that when I started, I could only run 30 seconds at a time.

So, looking back at the year since I had this quick conversation about wanting to become a runner, I realized I've made some progress. I am in such a different place, than I was last year at this time--more balanced and more confident about exercise.

So often, I think we beat ourselves up for what we don't do.  We feel guilty for the weeks we don't get exercise in. But yesterday's conversation helped me to realize that I don't really have a reason to beat myself up. I did commit to running. I met lots of goals and in a busy time getting back into the role of a classroom teacher, I haven't run so much. But the hard work has been done and I know I haven't quit.

So, it was a pretty good moment. I was shocked myself that I could  actually say, YES! I HAVE STARTED RUNNING!"  I accomplished more than I realize in the year since I was talking to anyone I could about the fact that I wanted to run. The conversation was a good boost to get me back to some kind of routine this week.

My Weekly Questions

Did I exercise 3-6 days this week?
Nope. I didn't exercise once. Hmmm.

Did I do really good work?
I feel like I did okay work. Not my best week in the classroom but lots of good stuff.

Did I have fun? Did I do some things for myself?
I finished Gathering Blue, got together with friends on Wednesday, went out with family on Friday and Saturday.  So yes.

Did I get some non-working things accomplished?
I baked a few cookies for the family events.  I did a few loads of laundry.

Was I organized for the week?
I was organized for teaching but was scrambling every day for what to wear, what to take to lunch, etc.

Did I spend time with my family.
Yes:-)

Did I have energy? Did I have enough down time to remain positive?
This is my biggest no. My energy was low all week and I could tell from my attitude. I am feeling the impact of not enough exercise.   These things all fall into place better when I make time to eat a little better and to exercise a little more.

I have talked to so many teachers who are struggling with healthy living and balance during the last few weeks.  But there are many others who are managing balance a bit better.  I am inspired by those who are sharing their successes during this crazy time of year.

Hope next week is a little better when it comes to answering these questions!

Here We Go Again....

My coffee table on Friday night as I worked on school stuff.

If you have visited my house in the last several weeks, you have seen the piles of papers pretty much everywhere.  (I did manage to hide them for my daughter's birthday party last weekend...). For the first four weeks of school, I have been dragging a teacher wheely-cart back and forth to school. So much to do in terms of Fall Assessments, planning, getting things organized, etc.  Coming back to the classroom after being in the library for 4 years, sometimes it feels like I am starting from scratch.  So I feel like I have been working 24/7.  So this week, I didn't exercise once. I couldn't stand the piles or my TO DO list anymore so I worked nonstop in the evenings and all day Saturday to get things finished and put away.  I needed to get a handle on where kids were and on the units that are coming up. I needed to find books that would match what I was teaching. I needed to think about the routines that were in place and where to go next. I needed to get to the big picture of the year.  So I did  that.

The good news is that the tables in my house are clean. The papers are filed away at school. I still have lots to do but I feel like it is manageable if I do a bit every day.  And I feel like I can move forward.

The bad news is that it is time to get back into a routine again. And I know how un-fun it is when I've been not so good for a bit. I know the next few weeks are going to be hard.

I am signed up for 2 yoga classes at Harbor Yoga. I am also looking at some classes at our Rec Center. I know I need cardio but I also need to be consistent with the strength training.  I need to go back to where I was in the winter--5 days of exercise consistently.  3 cardio and 2-3 strength.

So the next two weeks are about being tough--just doing it even though I am really nervous about it. I am nervous about how hard it is going to be but I am mostly nervous about how tired I will be and how I will get everything else done in my life that needs to get done.  I am nervous about not being at my best for a few weeks until my body gets used to this again.

I have talked to so many teachers who have been inconsistent with their exercise in September. Maybe there is no way around it.  Maybe it is just how things are and we need to know that we pick back up in October. But I don't think so. Because I know other teachers who are somehow training for an October marathon and some who ran races this weekend.  I just haven't figured out how to do it all.

So, here we go again. It feels like I am starting from scratch. Again.

Revisiting My Questions--Did I have a balanced week?

So, I have a bad cold. I look like a toddler with a runny nose.  I feel yucky. Not terrible, just yucky.  This is typical for the beginning of the school year. I have been working hard, as we all have.  So much that needs to be done. I can't seem to let much of it go. I keep telling myself; Another week and then I can rest. Well, the cold is my first bit a proof that the idea of resting later isn't really a great idea. Time to get a little balance and slow down. For everyone's sake.  I realized this week that my kids learn more when I slow down ( I have learned this before but I seem to forget it every fall!)  The same goes for me.

In August, I posted these questions as a way to check in with myself about how I was doing in terms of balance:

Did I exercise 3-6 days per week? (ideally 3 days of running and 3 days of something else.)

Did I do really good work?

Did I have fun? Did I do some things for myself (read a good book, spend time with friends, etc.)

Did I get some non-work things accomplished (laundry, cook dinners, etc.)

Was I organized for the  week?

Did I spend time with my family?

Do I have energy? Did I have enough down time to remain positive?

And here are my answers:

-I did exercise 3-6 days per week. Not 6, but 4. I ran 3 times and walked once. My running was hard and I almost cried on the treadmill because I feel like I have really gone backwards.  I have gained a few pounds back and can't get back into the groove. But I did it. And I signed up for Monday night yoga so the week should get off to a good start.  

-I feel like I did really good work at school this week. Routines are in place. Kids are great. Learning is happening. I am not so ahead but I am not totally behind either.

-Fun? Hmm. I read a bit. I did dinner one night with friends.

-Work at home--not so much. My husband pretty much did 100% of house stuff this week.

-I was organized enough at school. Scrambling to iron clothes, etc. in the mornings.

-I spent a bit of time with family. Not a ton but everyone was busy. This weekend is my daughter's birthday so I'll have a weekend of family time so I will say yes to this one.

-Energy--this is the one I struggled with most this week. Trying to do it all but very tired a lot of the week.  A little drained of energy pretty much all week. This is the piece I'll be working on next. I am hoping with consistent exercise in semi-place, the energy will creep in. Getting 4 days of exercise in during a week when I had lots of meetings and after school things, daughter's birthday, etc. is a plus. I am hoping that becomes routine again.

A better list of questions than I realized. We'll see what next week brings. 

Back to the Running Routine....

From Team Sparkle-one of my running motivators!  http://www.team-sparkle.com/2012/05/just-run/

Were you worried that I had completely quit running? That I had ignored this blog and running for so long that I'd given up?  Well, I was worried about that too! Once August hit and the busy/crazy fall life of a teacher began, the days I skipped runs turned into weeks and the weeks kept on going.  I know this cycle well. I get myself in decent enough shape to not hate exercise then I become consumed with work and I quit.  Only to go back to exercise months or years later in worse shape than ever.

Believe me, none of us WANT this cycle of exercise/no exercise to continue, but it is so hard to fit exercise into the beginning of the school year--not so much when it is part of who you are, but when it is new or fairly new, it is both physically and emotionally hard.

And for me, going back to the classroom took more time and energy than I imagined.  Not only did I start lots from scratch, but I forgot how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE the work of the classroom, I would much rather score DRAs or read student reading logs or think about comments during problem solving than run. No question.  And at the beginning of the year, when we are starting from scratch with a new group of students, this work is critical.

Last weekend, I worked nonstop from Friday at 4 until Monday at noon. It was crazy but I knew I had to catch up on paperwork and thinking now that I knew my kids. I was happy working but I couldn't really catch my breath.  Then this week was busy with lots of evening meetings.  But yesterday morning, I woke up and I felt like the heaviness of fall was over--the first few weeks of the school year were behind me. I loved my class. I had met the families and our routines were pretty well set.  I could take some time to not work and I felt okay about it. I am ready for next week and it was time to pull myself and the house back together.

Yes, the house is a mess but today, my plan was to run.  I have walked a few times in the last few weeks thanks to a good friend who keeps me exercising just a bit. But in the last 4-6 weeks, I have run very little if any. But I have been getting clues that it was time to get back into it.

Last week, I was at a local arts festival and the band was playing a song from my running playlist.  A little guilt kicked in along with a little feeling that I was actually missing running.

Friday night, I had a dream that I was running. (I guess now that the first day of school nightmares are over, this can be expected. ..) And I was running happily.  I woke up actually really it.

Earlier this week, I got an email from my friend Jen Allen. She always seems to say just the right thing to me. This week she said, "Hey... Don't let the school year get you off balance so that you give up your runs.  You have worked too hard..."  This line stuck with me all week.

And yesterday I received this tweet from a Twitter friend who started running recently, "Thanks for helping me get started and get back on track. Those first few weeks of school were too tough to run. Glad to be back into it now."

And my stress level was up. I could actually feel it in a way that I haven't felt it since January. 

Finally, when I was reading Every Day by David Levithan in bed before falling asleep last night, I read this line, "I run. I am made for running.  Because when you run, you could be anyone." I figured at this point that I was getting far too many signs that I needed to run, to just not.

So I went to the rec center today. I was terrified. It is actually a beautiful day for running. A day I should run outside. But I was too terrified of what this run would be like so I went for safe. I decided to go 30 minutes and try for the run 7 minutes, walk 1 minute. But I didn't think I'd actually be able to do 7 full minutes.

I got on the treadmill next to the girl who was running a 7 minute mile. She wasn't even out of breath.  And I started to run.  At two minutes, I got tired.  Much quicker than usual but I got through the 7 minutes. I was shocked.  I completed what I had hoped to complete but had to drop my speed just a bit. (I know you are wondering how someone as slow as I am can possibly drop my speed, but I can:-). And I was actually happy to be running again.  I feel like in 2 weeks, I can be back to where I was 6 weeks ago.  I feel like I can do this and the little blip in the running did not take me back to square one.

My heel hurts as I have been lazy about my plantar faciitis.  I will be better about that. I need to eat better and drink more water. But I feel like today's run is over. And the terrified feeling I have going into it is over. And I know I can do this and that taking 4 weeks off doesn't mean I can't do this.

If you are a teacher who has fallen off the exercise wagon, it's okay to give yourself a week or two to get back into the school routine I think. Don't beat yourself up if you have. Our life is just like that. Taking a few weeks off doesn't mean we've quit. I am actually going to use this as a reading minilesson this week--the whole idea of kids who didn't read this summer and building that stamina again.  Just because they didn't read over the summer, doesn't mean they aren't readers.  

I did work too hard from January to July to let this go and not get back to it.  So, I did.

A Plan for Maintaining Running/Exercise Through Fall

(CROSS POSTED ON A YEAR OF READING)

I've been slacking, as I am sure you can tell. It's August and I can already see that exercise is getting harder to make time for.  As you know, the life of a teacher is a bit crazy. The cycles are very predictable. There are times when we are so busy working and thinking about working that it is hard to be balanced. Then we seem to get a long weekend here or there or a vacation that we just crash for a few days.  I have talked to lots of my teacher friends who have not exercised as much as usual during these last few weeks of summer. It isn't just me.  And it isn't really about time-I think it is more that our work with children is a job that we think about a LOT--not only when we are at school. So the times when we are overwhelmed and consumed are not necessarily because we are working more physical hours. I think it is more that our brain is constantly thinking about what we can do to make learning better for kids. It is hard to justify exercising when you have a kid whose learning you need to support in better ways.

And the Summer Goals didn't go so well. I did the Color Run but pretty much just walked it and hung out with friends. I decided not to do the COLOR ME RAD (although I will be thinking about my friends who are doing it, friends who I let down, cheering them on from home:-)  because the races seem to be a stress for me right now. And I end up getting off of my exercise routine after a big run like that.   I lasted about 2 days on Another Mother Runner's June Challenge. I lasted about a week or two with #bookaday. And I am not sure I've finished a book yet in August. My house is clean enough but there are still summer projects that I didn't get to.  So, my point is, I am not in some great exercise routine that I just need to keep up. I need to actually bump it up for the fall.

I personally define fall as the time between now and NCTE's Annual Convention. The annual convention to me marks the time when the first parent conferences, first grading periods, first units of study are over. It is usually around that time that the classroom is working well, routines are set, there is strong community. NCTE's annual convention is always kind of a turning point in the school year for me. It moves me from "Beginning of the Year Crazy" to the next phase of the school year.  So, to be honest with myself, the beginning of the school year--when it is most difficult to keep up a healthy eating and exercise routine- is not merely the first few weeks.   It is really the first  2 1/2-3 months.  That is the time I am thinking about in terms of keeping a healthy, balanced life-complete with running and exercise.

So, what did I do?
Now that I have been honest about all that I didn't do, I have to think about what I did accomplish this summer. I did exercise and although I am in no better shape than I was on June 1, I am not much worse. (a little, but not much)
I have a different attitude about running. Since reading RUNNING FOR MORTALS, I really try to push myself, but not so hard as to hate running.  I am going slower and that seems to be a good step for me.
I cleaned my closet and found I have gone down about 1 size. I got rid of lots of clothes and bought a few new things ( a size smaller).
I moved in and organized my classroom. A new role and a new space so a lot of time was spent in the classroom getting organized this summer.
I completed the copyedit of my upcoming Minilessons book with Choice Literacy which will be coming out soon.
I did lots with family and friends.
I tried a few new exercises.
My house is more organized than it was in the spring. (not a ton, but enough..)
I did workshops for Choice Literacy and All Write.
I attended All Write and the Ohio Innovative Learning Conference and learned lots.
I participated in the NCTE Executive Committee retreat in July.
I read about 40 books.

Here's the thing. I tend to over plan and tend to think I can do more than I actually can. I like to do lots of things and I tend to say yes to anything that sounds interesting. I am also not so good at not overdoing. I seem to overdo things because they sound like good ideas at the time.  I want to do really good work but not spend time doing worthless things that take lots of time.  In teaching, there is always more than can be done but sometimes I over plan, over think when my first idea and plan was best anyway.

So, I am trying to learn how to deal more rationally with my never-ending TO-DO list. I HATE having things to do that I am not doing. I have trouble relaxing or having fun when I know there is something I should be doing. I cannot pace well--I like to get everything done all of the time.  Clearly, this does not work. Last year, I found a system that seemed to work. I plotted out my to-do things by week so that I could spread out my to-do list a bit. That seemed to help. But with school starting, my lists are again becoming unrealistic.

I do not give myself much time to do the things I enjoy by myself...baking, exercise, reading, etc. Then I get very cranky.

And one more thing--Ialready have a full fall planned:
I am starting with a new class of 4th graders in a week. I am VERY excited about this and having been out of the classroom  for 4 years, I want to give it lots of time.

I am participating in two sessions at NCTE that I'll need to prepare.

I am doing a one-day Choice Literacy workshop in Maine in October. I'll be gone for most of that weekend.

I will participate in the yearlong Literacy Connection.

I oversee the district new teacher/mentor program.

There are things like curriculum night, Ana's curriculum nights., parent conferences, first trimester school events, etc.

Ana turns 13 this year so there are birthday parties to plan.

So, even if I don't add one more thing, I am busy enough.  So this fall, I am giving myself permission to say no to things I enjoy but don't really have time for. For example, Jack Gantos is speaking in Columbus in a few weeks. I would LOVE to hear him. Cover to Cover has several authors coming this fall who I will want to hear.  There are Saturday local workshops that sound interesting. Writing group is meeting.  There will be blog events and other things.  I have gotten better at saying no to things I don't want to do, but this fall, to keep up with exercise, I am going to try to say no to work/literacy related things that I WANT to do, but just don't realistically have time for.

I also found that adding a 4th run to my weekly goal was too much for me. I actually ran less because I had no flexibility in the schedule. 3 runs is perfect and then if I can fit a 4th in, great.

I find that I like to do the extra work but not on a set schedule..Too many scheduled events make down time and exercise time hard to find.  I am learning this about myself slowly. When I am too scheduled, even with things I love to do--exercise is the first thing to go.

So, here is how I will measure balance each week this fall--these are the questions I hope I can say yes to every week.

Did I exercise 3-6 days per week? (ideally 3 days of running and 3 days of something else.)
Did I do really good work?
Did I have fun? Did I do some things for myself (read a good book, spend time with friends, etc.)
Did I get some non-work things accomplished (laundry, cook dinners, etc.)
Was I organized for the  week?
Did I spend time with my family?
Do I have energy? Did I have enough down time to remain positive?

Originally, I decided that I would schedule fall. I would decide on 3 days to run in the mornings, 2 days to go to Harbor Yoga for a hot yoga class, and one day to do something else. And I would stick with it all fall. But then I reflected. And I realized that every week is different and what worked best for me last winter was looking at my week each Sunday and planning accordingly--it was easy to decide when I could plug in exercise each week. Rather than skip a workout because I had a meeting after school, planning each week as they come up gives me a better chance of exercising lots.

I am still debating on doing the PUMPKIN RUN. My gut says to sign up and make this the 5K that I actually complete and enjoy.  I haven't totally decided yet because I haven't had the best luck with races and since I am still running a 15-16 minute mile, I am worried about being too slow for a race that is really about running.

Ideally, I'll run 3 days (2 in the morning before school and 1 long run on Saturday) and I'll go to yoga twice. And then once a week, I am hoping to walk with friends or  do something low-key.

That's my plan. I'll keep you posted....

IT'S AUGUST!?!? And I'd Rather Work Than Exercise...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/22964099@N05/2204059683/ by bottled_void 

So, it is August. There are only a few weeks left until school starts with lots of things to do before that time. I love this time of year. I am usually ready to get back to school and back to some routine.  But, I always have so much to do to get ready for a new school year. This is one of those times in the year that it becomes difficult to exercise.

I started to feel the stress of August this week. I traveled off and on during the last two weeks, doing work for Choice Literacy and attending NCTE executive committee meetings.  I was feeling pretty good before I  started the travel--I had set up lots of my room.But, when I came back, I felt swamped and overwhelmed with all I had to do.  My to-do list was growing.

This is one of those times when fitting in exercise becomes hard. One of the things about being a teacher is that the year's cycle is a little crazy. We have months where we can almost do nothing other than work, and other times when we can have a little balance. It is easy to push off exercise during the crazy times. And I almost did that.

I did the Color Run the day before I left for my 2nd week of travel.  I knew the 2nd week gone would be crazy so I gave myself permission to take the week off, if exercise was too hard to fit in  or if the facilities didn't have treadmills, etc.  I figured either way, it would be fine and it ended up that I didn't fit any running in.

But, then I came home (Sunday night) and I was totally exhausted from the travel. We had relatives in town and lots to do. I had an all day workshop on Monday and didn't exercise ...Then I planned to get up early Tuesday to exercise before a session  had to give at a conference, but didn't. Then I was going to get up Wednesday morning before a meeting to exercise, but I stayed up too late watching the Olympics Tuesday night, so I didn't.

Wednesday, I got a ton of work done for school--thing created, curriculum studied, ideas solidified, etc.  I had a meeting around math from 9-noon and then worked the rest of the day on school things. The feeling of "so much to do" was strong as it had been for days. My thinking, as it often is when I am in workaholic mode is, "If I can just get this done, then I'll have time to have a life."  

But, I was going on about 10-12 days without exercise.  This was the first time since January that this had happened. Really the first time I hadn't fit at least 2-3 days in. And I knew I had to recommit.  As much as I wanted to stay at home, finishing up projects I had started, I knew I had to take 45 minutes out of the day and get to the gym. So I did.

Yesterday afternoon, I got out of my exercise vacation.  I didn't want to go. I didn't feel great. And I had lots of work I wanted to do.  I figured I'd have to take it easy and even if I just walked, it would get me back to exercise.

But I got on the treadmill and actually enjoyed the 30ish minutes I exercised!  I had actually almost missed it. I have learned a lot reading RUNNING FOR MORTALS and by running even a tiny bit slower than I have been running (and hating it), I can run and semi-enjoy it. I knew I had to do a pretty easy workout if I was every going to go back.  So I ran a REALLY SLOW 2 mile (15-16 minute mile) and I took minute walk breaks sometime every 7-8 minutes. But I planned that ahead. And I actually did not hate the 30 minutes I was on the treadmill. I had missed my running music and actually felt better and less overwhelmed almost immediately.

I came home and got lots more work done yesterday and I am so glad that I finally got out of this rut I worried would last forever.

This teacher thing makes consistent working out hard for me. I always get caught up in the work that needs done and it is hard for me to break away and get the workout in.  I know this about me and exercise and I am terrified of quitting this round. I am hoping that throughout this fall (which I know will be crazy), I don't get to the point that I go 10 days without exercise.  I can't believe how much better I felt after just a few minutes of running.  And I can't believe how much better I felt that I didn't put the workout off another day.

I am working on plan/schedule that keeps me exercising, even when I have a ton of work to do.  It is the reason I struggle with exercise and all things healthy. It is easy to exercise in the summer, in January, etc. But not so much at other times during the year. I often choose work over a healthy lifestyle.  This is the first time, since January, that this teacher-workaholic thing kicked in.   And I learned that (as I've learned many times), I just have to go out and do it.  This lesson seems so simple, but I seem to need to keep relearning it!

In the next week or so, I'll share my plan for keeping a running schedule up during the first few weeks of the school year. What plans do you have to keep moving once the craziness of the school year hits?