Not So Bad...

So, I have had a pretty sedentary two weeks. And a semi-sedentary two months.  Getting ready for a trip for my Choice Literacy Workshop, finishing up fall assessments, getting ready for parent conferences have pretty much consumed me. I got to the point where I am just okay with taking the time to catch up and keep up at work knowing that once this fall round of work was finished, I could find time for myself again. It's not ideal, and I wish I'd been more disciplined to fit it in, but I didn't. I have been beating myself up over this.  Knowing I can't let this go on much longer but not quite finding the energy to get started again.

This weekend, I ran into an acquaintance who I see once a year. I guess last year when I saw him, I was all about mentally preparing to become a runner. (This means I was telling people I wanted to run and they were listening to me nicely with no expectations that I really would:-)  It was October 2011 and I don't really remember the conversation. But I do remember that somehow me wanting to start running was part of the conversation. This year when we ran into each other, he said, "So, did you ever start running? Last year when we talked, you said you had wanted to and I wondered if you ever did." I hesitated for a minute, because I haven't run in a few weeks and I am always honest (with others and myself about these things.)  But then I realized, he didn't ask me if I ran this week. He didn't ask me if I'd run this month. He asked if I ever started running. And you know what, I did. I could honestly answer yes. I could say, Yes,  I ran consistently for 6-8 months. I could say, I ran two 5Ks. And I could say that when I started, I could only run 30 seconds at a time.

So, looking back at the year since I had this quick conversation about wanting to become a runner, I realized I've made some progress. I am in such a different place, than I was last year at this time--more balanced and more confident about exercise.

So often, I think we beat ourselves up for what we don't do.  We feel guilty for the weeks we don't get exercise in. But yesterday's conversation helped me to realize that I don't really have a reason to beat myself up. I did commit to running. I met lots of goals and in a busy time getting back into the role of a classroom teacher, I haven't run so much. But the hard work has been done and I know I haven't quit.

So, it was a pretty good moment. I was shocked myself that I could  actually say, YES! I HAVE STARTED RUNNING!"  I accomplished more than I realize in the year since I was talking to anyone I could about the fact that I wanted to run. The conversation was a good boost to get me back to some kind of routine this week.