This week...bleh

From lululemon athletica http://www.flickr.com/photos/lululemonathletica/4166962221/ 

This is the joy I was hoping to feel at the end of the 5K last week. It didn't happen.

So, this week was not a great running week. I decided to put my thinking out here to stay with the commitment I made to being honest about this journey. Last Saturday, I completed the 5K that was my goal.  I did okay. Walked a few minutes and it was way harder than I thought.  I hated almost every second of it and did not feel any sense of joy when it was over. I waited a few days thinking the joy would come and it never did. I was just glad it was behind me.

I've come to realize a few things about myself as I've been reflecting on this.  The race was too big for me for a first race. The sounds of the race alone were overwhelming to me and made it difficult for me to run. As I was running this week, (alone and in charge of music, noise, etc.) I realized how much that matters to me at this point in my running.  I think I would love the run if I were in a little bit better shape but for a first run, the environment made it hard.

My exercise did not go well this week. I am in the mode of finishing up the school year and organizing for summer. Times like this are times when I hate having things hanging over my head and I want to work 24/7 on my to-do list. It is times like this when I quit exercise programs. I am also likely to quit exercise programs after I have met a goal.  It is also 1000 degrees here.  (Well, only 90+ really but feels like 1000!)  So, this week was challenging for these reasons.

I did exercise 4 times this week. But I only ran once.  I was in an anti-running mood but I knew better than to take a week off completely. So I walked, exercise biked, and ran/walked this week.  I would not say I pushed myself but I got out there and did it. This was the first week since January that I did not get in 3 runs.  But I got in 3 days of exercise so I figure that is an okay transition.

This week has allowed me to really think about my goals for the summer.  I want to continue running but I want to do more than that. I know I need some cross training so I want to go back to yoga and possibly try out some of the other classes offered at the rec center. I have always liked fitness classes--I like that things change often. I like that you start and stop and feel good and then bad in cycles.  I like the socialness.

I am going to try desperately to exercise 5 days a week in June.  Another Mother Runner is hosting a challenge that totally matches my goals.  The fact that I will commit to this for a sticker is fascinating to me, but it seems well worth it!  These two women have saved me many times in my running journey and it seems they are doing it again!

So, this week will be an easy one again. I'll get 3-4 days of exercise in and a day or two of running (probably on the treadmill). I did buy another pair of running pants (shorter due to the heat) from Lululemon and I like them a lot for summer. These should help.  Shorts won't really ever happen for me so this is a good step.

We finish school on Thursday. I know there are weeks when work and catching up and family things, etc. trump all else that needs done. I know myself well and I know that I hate things hanging over my head. This week and next are the weeks that I reorganize life for summer. So I'll continue to exercise but at less intensity and without a real goal--just to get out there. Then next week or later this week, I'll get back into routine. I have some trips scheduled but I think I have figured out how to fit in exercise during travel.

Luckily, I told Katherine I'd run with her at All Write and I signed up for the July Color Run. My goal is for that to be an easier experience than last week's race.  These two things make it impossible for me to just quit--thank goodness!  And my wonderful mother did tell me that she'd buy me a new Team Sparkle Skirt for every race I run!   What a mom! It seems that stickers and skirts matter to me as a runner.

I have read about runners having these lows after a race they've worked for. Mine doesn't seem quite the same--I just didn't really enjoy the race or the feeling afterwards.  It was not that amazing feeling I was hoping for that would push me into signing up for lots of races.  I'll keep you posted:-)

10 Things: 5K :-)

Mary Lee, Me, Meredith, McKenzie before the race.  Sisterhood of the Sparkle Skirts!

Today, I participated in my first ever 5K--the Columbus Komen Race for the Cure. It was definitely an experience and one I've been working toward for a long time.  My goal was to run the whole thing but I knew that might be hard. I've been nervous all week about it.  About a mile in, I needed to walk for about 30 seconds because I was feeling sick. Once I walked for 30 seconds I ran again until the last 4 or 5 minutes.  Then I walked (I did run the final minute or two to cross the finish line.)  So I ran it in about 45 minutes total but time seems hard with not knowing exactly when we started because of the crowd. Navigating around people made it hard to settle into a pace. So, I didn't totally meet my goal but I feel good about it overall.

Here are 10 Things about the Run:

1.  I love my friends. Really, I've said it before but it took a village for me to get to the point where I could think about running a 5K.  My friends at work have been amazing all week.  I got totally stressed and tried to back out several times but they kept on me about not backing out.  And yesterday, my friend Kami had her 3rd graders make cards and signs for me wishing me luck in the run. They were adorable handing them to me and it really did help me keep going today when I didn't think I could.  It was fun to hang out a bit with McKenzie and Mary Lee/A.J. and Lynsey before the run. I am lucky to have good friends and it was fun to do something like this together even though we were all at different places in terms of our lives as runners/walkers. That's something I really love about this whole thing.

2. My friend Meredith  ran with me the whole time. Even when I walked, she slowed down her pace to stick with me.  I really think that I might have walked off the course had she not been there. She was like my race mom--she carried my stuff, helped me find the bathroom, etc.  She described me as an "anxious 4 year old" which about nailed it.  I soooo  appreciated her dealing with me today. I was a little high maintenance. This 5K was Meredith's beginning to her 1/2 Marathon Training so I think I'll repay her by being chair of her cheering section or maybe planning to run the last few miles with her if they allow that. It really did make a huge difference having a good friend with me along the way today.

Meredith finishing today's run! 

3. The route was not easy.  I walked a few times. Once for about 30 seconds and then at the end for about 4-5 minutes.  The sun seemed hot for how early it was this morning and there were more hills than I had anticipated. Now, we are in Ohio which is a pretty flat state but I have run on REALLY flat routes up until today. They threw me a tiny bit. Definitely something I need to work on.

4.  I am a huge fan of the Team Sparkle skirts. My mother told me today she'd buy me another one for my next race. I kind of loved Mary Lee's purple one so maybe that one will be next.  Mary Lee called us the "Sisterhood of the Sparkle Skirts!" I love that:-)  She did mention that I said (from my running research) that EVERYONE wears these skirts at races. She looked carefully and of the 50,000 people there, we may have been the only 3 in these skirts. Hmmm. Maybe we are behind in running fashions in Ohio and they just haven't made their way here. Hopefully next year, there will be way more people who sparkle with us! (And Meredith would like to add socks while I am dying to get a pair of sparkle sleeves.  We definitely got lots of compliments on the skirts:-)

5. People are asking me how I feel, how it went.  I did not hit any runner's high or any big moment of pride. I was more relieved to have this run over with than anything else. I was really really nervous about it --no idea why.  So I feel good that it is over and that I had the experience. I am not overly proud or overly disappointed with how I did.

6.  I had my first two running injuries this week. A bruised toenail earlier this week or last and today I have a tiny tiny bit of chafing under my arm where my shirt hit. I find this amusing--a running injury in a 5K.  I know they don't really count but they are a little irritating.  And I have huge sympathy for people who have real injuries and continue to run.

7.  I don't think I'd recommend a race this big as a first 5K to new runners.  It was big and it was an event. There would good things about that--it was a fun environment. Lots going on. Lots of people and a great cause. But while I was running, the bigness of the event made it harder for me.  I am easily distracted (hah--an understatement) and I like a good party. So having bands and people cheering and motorcycles and ribbons and signs, etc. were fun but hugely distracting for me. I think at some points they helped a lot and at other points, it was too much for me to pay attention to and I am not one that can ignore things like that.  I'd get caught up in eavesdropping on a conversation, then I'd hear a song then I'd hear something else.I remember when I realized that as running got harder, I was better off without music and this seemed similar.  I think I will love a race like this once I get in a bit better shape but it was a lot of new for a first 5K. I think I'll try it again next year but hopefully in a lot better shape.

After the run:-)

8.  I used a Porta-Potty. Not my favorite part of the race day experience.

9. Running something like this on a Saturday morning makes it easy to justify a relaxing weekend--My plans for the rest of the weekend include an afternoon nap, hanging out with friends, shopping, sleeping, and being lazy.  I don't usually justify a weekend without work or housework or something but this morning's run makes it very justifiable I think:-)

10. What's next? I'm not sure. I am signed up for the Color Run in July. I am very excited about that and I'd love to actually run the whole time.  We are planning a July run at All-Write Summer Institute complete with Babymouse shirts and Team Sparkle skirts.  So I think I'll keep up running 3 times a week with these little events spaced pretty far apart for a while. But I really do need to add some other things in-yoga, cardio classes, etc.

Overall it was a great day. Not sure why I was as stressed out as I was but I think now that I know what to expect, I won't be that worried again.  Now for a nap:-)

Two Days til 5K

So, I have pretty much lost my desire to do this 5K. Or else I am afraid to actually give it a try.  This is totally in character for me. Once I prove to myself I can do something, I don't need to keep proving it. Or I get bored with the whole idea of it after prepping for so long.  That is when I get bored and quit.  I do this with cleaning (Just when the house is clean, I am too tired and bored to pick up the last few things on the counter.) I do this with writing. (Just when the book is finished, I don't want to do the copyedit or the final chapter. )  This is why I am very seldom successful with exercise.  Don't worry.  I am not going to back out of this 5K.  I want the experience and I am not 100 percent sure I can do it. So, there is that.  The most I have run outside is 2 miles straight. So we'll see. I am shooting for a PR of 45 minutes. Hah! That might be the slowest PR ever hoped for in a 5K.

I ran 2 miles outside today. It is about 70 degrees and I ran right after work. It was a hard run, partly because it was pretty warm. I have no idea how those people ran the Boston Marathon this year.  70 is plenty hot for me to run 2 miles.  I can't imagine the heat for their 26 miles!

Anyway, I have been revisiting TRAIN LIKE A MOTHER and have looked at their tips for the week before Race Day. I think I am set.  As set as I can be.  And I must say, buying the TEAM SPARKLE skirt is really the main reason I am still planning to go on Saturday. It is the one thing that I keep thinking about --my mom bought me the skirt and I talked many friends into getting the skirts too. So, how could I not go to wear it?  And where else could I wear a TEAM SPARKLE skirt? A 5K seems the perfect place for the fashion statement.

So, running clothes are ready.  Team Sparkle skirt is ready. Shakeology is ready to be made.  Playlist is ready. Legs will be shaved. I have studied the course map and planned parking. I know where the closest Starbucks is for after the race.  Tomorrow I will drink lots of water and eat pasta for dinner. TRAIN LIKE A MOTHER says something about JOLT gum but I'll hold off on that for this weekend.  Sisterhood of the Sparkle Skirts as Mary Lee calls us, will meet on Saturday morning before the run. And imagine what I can justfiy buying myself at Lululemon on Sunday if I actually do this!?

My favorite conversation of the week was from my dad (who is very disciplined about exercise but is not a runner.)

Dad: How far do you have to run on Saturday?
Me: 3 miles but I will be last.
Dad: You won't be last.
Me: I'm pretty sure I will be.
Dad: How long do you think it will take you?
Me: 45 minutes.
Dad: NO! People can WALK a mile in 15 minutes. You should be able to run faster than that.
Me: Yes, I know I should. But I can't.  Like I said, I will be last.
Dad: Oh well. That's okay.

Love my dad:-)

Stay tuned for photos on Saturday:-)

6 Days til 5K

Well, the RACE FOR THE CURE 5K that I registered for is next Saturday. And all I can think is, "What was I thinking?"  I keep trying to get out of this run, but my good friend Meredith won't really let me out of it. I don't think I am ready.  I can sometimes run 3 miles but have yet to run 3 miles outside. This week I did one 2 mile run on the treadmill and one 3 mile run on the treadmill.  Both were really good runs but then I felt yucky all weekend. I skipped my run Saturday hoping to feel better Sunday. I didn't feel better but went out Sunday evening and gave it a try. I ran about a mile and 1/2. Outside.

So, I'm not sure how this will go. I understand why people train for races--it gives you something to work toward. But it is a little scary. I already know I will pretty much be last. That would be the best-case-scenario.  I guess I am just really nervous about it.

I have my Team Sparkle Skirt and I have my Sparkly Soul headband (pink glitter of course.)  I am shooting for a 15 minute mile. If I can do the 3.1 in 45 minutes, I'll be thrilled. The Columbus Color Run is in late July and I feel like that is much better timing--gives me a lot more time to really get ready to run 5K. I feel like this is too new to actually do with people around. Oh well.....

No matter how next week goes though, I feel like I've already met my goal. I really am amazed that I can run 3 miles at all. I am amazed that I can run 30-45 minutes without stopping.  I checked my resting heart rate today and it is incredibly lower than it was in January. I've lost about 10 pounds. I have more energy. I am not quite as moody.  I feel like I am past the hardest part of getting in shape--those first few months. As soon as this run on Saturday is over, I'll focus on adding some cross training and just keeping up with the habit of exercising. I think it is a habit--one that would be easy to quit, but one that I don't think I will. So no matter how next week goes, I think it will be okay.....

Keep your fingers crossed for me next Saturday morning please:-)

Much Better....

It is 8:30 am on Saturday and I just got back from a 2 mile/30 minute run. After this week's disaster run, I feel much better.  On Thursday, I only made it 23 minutes and was REALLY mad at myself.  Last night, I kept waking up in the middle of the night, worried that I was not going to be able to make today's run of 45 minutes either. That it was just a fluke that I ran 3 miles straight last week.

I also found this post on ANOTHER MOTHER RUNNER: How Hard Should You Exercise Today?   I have been so used to just following my 16 week running plan, that I haven't had to think about which workouts make sense when.

I thought to myself, "What would Tonia say?" (I think I need a bracelet or a shirt that says the same thing.) My gut tells me that she would say it was all mental.  That it was a confidence issue and I could do it.

I got up this morning and knew that if I didn't get my run in early, I'd be thinking about it all day.  And I have way too much to do to be thinking about this all day. (We are having my 21 year old daughter and many of her college friends over for brunch tomorrow so today is a day of cooking:-)  Anyway, I decided to set myself up for success. Here is what I did.

1. I decided to run outside.  It is only 63 but VERY humid.  I knew that the indoor track was making me crazy and I had to move past the treadmill for this run.

2.  I decided to do a 30 minute instead of a 45 minute run.  The quiz above made me realize that I can control my workouts a bit. I am having a really yucky-feeling week. Low energy, not a lot of good sleep. Typically, in this situation, I would just skip the workout, but the quiz taught me to just rethink. I knew I was up for a workout, just not my hardest. So I decided on a 30 minute continuous outdoor run.

3. I put on my Lululemon capri running pants, my newest Mizunos and my SparklySoul headband. Some favorite running attire.

4. I decided to go with no music. The music seems to be fine on the treadmill but I think it messes with my pacing when I am not on a treadmill so I decided that I would go back to what I learned earlier and go without music so I had one less thing to worry about.

5. And I had a Shakeology about 30 minutes before I left. Shakeology for breakfast on a Saturday usually sets me up for a decent weekend run.

The first 5 minutes were iffy, I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it. But then once I got to 15 minutes, I knew I could do another 15. I'm so glad I didn't try for 45. With it being my first outdoor run where I ran more than 10 minutes straight, I thought 30 would work.

So, I feel a little back on track. My goal this week is to do mostly 30 minute runs but to also add in 2 days of cross training. The runs got hard for me at the end of the 16 weeks so I stopped all other exercise and I feel like 2 more days of cardio is critical now.  Walking, bike, etc.

Now, I can get on with my day:-)

This Did Not Get Easier

So, I have had a pretty bad run week. My goal is to run 3-4 times a week. Mostly 30 minute runs with at least one 45 minute run each week.  I did fine on Tuesday--30 minutes on the treadmill and even managed to do closer to a 14 minute mile than a 15 minute mile. Then on Thursday, I decided to run on the indoor track. It's about 90 degrees here this week so I didn't think it was a good day to try the run outside. But I knew I had to move beyond the treadmill. Well, it was not so good. I didn't feel great on my way to the rec center. I started my run, got about 15 minutes and felt awful. Decided to take a one lap walk and do the second 15 which I would have been okay with but I could only make it 8. Not sure what happened.  I think it was a combination of the way I was feeling, my confidence in doing this run away from the treadmill, and the fact that I was on this tiny 1/13 of a mile track and it felt like I was running forever. So, I'll try again tomorrow. See what happens. I am shooting for 45 minutes tomorrow and will probably run on the treadmill. Next week, temps are supposed to be in the 70s so it looks to be perfect running weather. Maybe that is the week to try the run outside.

The Race for the Cure is in 2 weeks from tomorrow.  I am not confident that I will be able to run the entire race and I am actually okay with that.  I think I am seeing this whole running thing for what it is--a big journey with no end point. There are good days and bad days. Some days don't go as quite as planned but the only way to get better is to keep at it.

I did really think this would get easier this week. For the last 16 weeks, I've increased my run time every week or two which has kept things really hard. Once I hit 45 minutes straight, I really believed 30 minute would be semi-easy. Not easy like no-big-deal-easy, but I was certainly not worried about not making it.  I am a little thrown by this turn of events so I'll see what happens in the next few runs.  I guess when I think back to the beginning of this and the big jumps in time I did, it did take a few weeks of runs to "get used" to the run. And everyone I talk to who runs says that the first mile is always hard.  So maybe 3 miles will never get easier.

Hopefully, I'll wake up tomorrow with tons of energy and move right past this little glitch.

Run 49....

So, today was my first run on my own. By that, I mean that I am no longer on my 16 week couch-5K plan and being coached by Tonia.  The last 48 runs (or walk/runs) have been part of my 16 week-3 times a week plan.  We decided that it would be good for me to run a few months on my own and then move on to another plan. I didn't think this was a big deal but it was very tempting not to run today.  My plan is to run 3-4 times a week for 30-45 minutes each.  Some indoor, some outdoor, some treadmill. But here is what I learned about myself--I like to be working toward a goal and I didn't like the idea of just running today.  For the past 16 weeks, I knew that if I missed a run or cut one short, etc. I would never get to a 5K in 16 weeks. And 16 weeks seemed plenty long to be working on such a small goal. But today, I knew I could run 30 minutes straight. But I also knew I could skip a run or two and still probably run 30 minutes.  This is where I get myself in trouble. I remember this from many diets--I lose 20 pounds and start feeling good so I kind of quit slowly and never get back on track.  I remember doing THIN THIGHS IN 30 DAYS in college and in about 20 days, I noticed a difference in my thighs, so I began to skip days here and there. And I think I am like this as a writer--I hate the work once the big work is finished. I can work for months on a book or something and then when I am really close to finishing --with only bibliography work, etc. I slow down and almost quit.

So, I am thinking hard about this and what it means. I was so shocked today that I was not looking forward to my first run without additional minutes, etc. that I spent the day thinking about my patterns and slowing down once I meet a goal is definitely one of them.

But I ran and the first mile was hard, the second was easier. I felt really good when I was finished.  And I'm glad I ran.  Now, I just need to make this a routine--a part of my life without that comfortable feeling I get when I almost meet a goal....