This week...bleh

From lululemon athletica http://www.flickr.com/photos/lululemonathletica/4166962221/ 

This is the joy I was hoping to feel at the end of the 5K last week. It didn't happen.

So, this week was not a great running week. I decided to put my thinking out here to stay with the commitment I made to being honest about this journey. Last Saturday, I completed the 5K that was my goal.  I did okay. Walked a few minutes and it was way harder than I thought.  I hated almost every second of it and did not feel any sense of joy when it was over. I waited a few days thinking the joy would come and it never did. I was just glad it was behind me.

I've come to realize a few things about myself as I've been reflecting on this.  The race was too big for me for a first race. The sounds of the race alone were overwhelming to me and made it difficult for me to run. As I was running this week, (alone and in charge of music, noise, etc.) I realized how much that matters to me at this point in my running.  I think I would love the run if I were in a little bit better shape but for a first run, the environment made it hard.

My exercise did not go well this week. I am in the mode of finishing up the school year and organizing for summer. Times like this are times when I hate having things hanging over my head and I want to work 24/7 on my to-do list. It is times like this when I quit exercise programs. I am also likely to quit exercise programs after I have met a goal.  It is also 1000 degrees here.  (Well, only 90+ really but feels like 1000!)  So, this week was challenging for these reasons.

I did exercise 4 times this week. But I only ran once.  I was in an anti-running mood but I knew better than to take a week off completely. So I walked, exercise biked, and ran/walked this week.  I would not say I pushed myself but I got out there and did it. This was the first week since January that I did not get in 3 runs.  But I got in 3 days of exercise so I figure that is an okay transition.

This week has allowed me to really think about my goals for the summer.  I want to continue running but I want to do more than that. I know I need some cross training so I want to go back to yoga and possibly try out some of the other classes offered at the rec center. I have always liked fitness classes--I like that things change often. I like that you start and stop and feel good and then bad in cycles.  I like the socialness.

I am going to try desperately to exercise 5 days a week in June.  Another Mother Runner is hosting a challenge that totally matches my goals.  The fact that I will commit to this for a sticker is fascinating to me, but it seems well worth it!  These two women have saved me many times in my running journey and it seems they are doing it again!

So, this week will be an easy one again. I'll get 3-4 days of exercise in and a day or two of running (probably on the treadmill). I did buy another pair of running pants (shorter due to the heat) from Lululemon and I like them a lot for summer. These should help.  Shorts won't really ever happen for me so this is a good step.

We finish school on Thursday. I know there are weeks when work and catching up and family things, etc. trump all else that needs done. I know myself well and I know that I hate things hanging over my head. This week and next are the weeks that I reorganize life for summer. So I'll continue to exercise but at less intensity and without a real goal--just to get out there. Then next week or later this week, I'll get back into routine. I have some trips scheduled but I think I have figured out how to fit in exercise during travel.

Luckily, I told Katherine I'd run with her at All Write and I signed up for the July Color Run. My goal is for that to be an easier experience than last week's race.  These two things make it impossible for me to just quit--thank goodness!  And my wonderful mother did tell me that she'd buy me a new Team Sparkle Skirt for every race I run!   What a mom! It seems that stickers and skirts matter to me as a runner.

I have read about runners having these lows after a race they've worked for. Mine doesn't seem quite the same--I just didn't really enjoy the race or the feeling afterwards.  It was not that amazing feeling I was hoping for that would push me into signing up for lots of races.  I'll keep you posted:-)